Male perspective...

Apart from having great times in the Netherlands (see pictures)… I also spent a lot of my time analyzing the results from the 70 interviews with boys and girls in the age of 15-25 years old. I have so far coded 35 interviews with boys in Moshi… Let me share some of the results with you:

· The first time sex:
Hide and seek games and playing to be father and mother are very popular resulting in love making for the first time, as from 6/7 years old! A lot of men say they had sex at a very young age.
· From friend to permanent lover:
If you feel like having a girlfriend, you ask a girl to be your friend. You can invite her for a drink (which he pays for her (always)). When you are VERY serious with a girl and want to get settled, you introduce her to the parents.
Untill that time you are still “a virgin” to your parents when getting married. Parents and children do not talk about their sex. Although (silently) they do know you must have had other relationships.
Men say women love them for money. If you ask their definition of love, they say it means to provide for..or to have sex. Relationships can be viewed as an agreement.
· Where do you arrange to have sex:
Many men say they have sex in guesthouses. They rent a room for a day or afternoon. They meet with the girl for a drink, after which they have sex.
· The responsibility of a woman in prevention is:
To disagree when a male seduces her, to be faithful. There is no mentioning of insisting on the use of condoms by women....
· Sports and prevention:
All men mention they like to do sports and exercises if they feel distracted by the feeling of wanting to have sex.
“If you are unable to resist you should come to the field and watch or play a game!”
· HIV- testing and following behavior:
If we make more people come for testing, this should be combined with an action of changing behavior. Many men explain that people do not want to die alone so you see them deliberately spread HIV to others!!!
One boy answers to the question “When people want to have sex without condom what will you do?”: “In that situation you must think seriously, because someone is asking you to sex without condom in this world, you must be very shocked, if you are understanding you will ask yourself why is she asking me to do without condom, may be she is affected and she wants to affect me too, the best way is to avoid that kind of girls”. Possibility for an intervention?
· Use of medication:
A lot of men say they would not want to use the HIV medication because it will only increase your lifespan, not cure and this means a lot of extra costs for the family!
· Some churches are successful in the cure for HIV/AIDS

I will continue with the female perspective... aiming to describe the socially constructed gender-roles.

Does it also make you think of your own culturally and socially constructed expectations within relations?!